Walt's Corner

As we age, we all know the usual suspects. Eyes start failing. Needing reader glasses. Sore joints. Needing to take a moment before getting out of bed. Craving the fresh taste of urine. Wait, what? That’s not normal, you say? Fine. I was just checking to see if you were paying attention. Most recently I’ve discovered a psychological change. A change in my perception and assumptions.

I’ve heard said that it takes 8 consecutive times to break/make a habit. That probably goes for our thought processes as well.

Use to be, I’d feel a wet spot on my skin and think to myself, hey, I’ve got water on me.

But now?

This morning?

I felt a wet spot on my skin and thought, oh shit! I’m bleeding!” Upon further inspection, I was not bleeding. It was, in fact, just some water from something I had been wiping off. How did I get to that bloody conclusion so fast?

Probably because that has been what it was for the past 8 times maybe? Stretching back maybe a year. I thought I must have come into contact with water, or a liquid, I look down at my hand to see it and HOLY SHIT IT’S BLOOD! I’M BLEEDING! WHERE THE FUCK AM I BLEEDING FROM?

After the initial shock I investigate the source of this blood. Lo and behold, I’ve torn myself. I’ve also heard that happens to aging skin as well. Reach into the cabinet to put something away and scrape the top of my hand on the bottom of one of the shelves and there it is. The skin tears. I start bleeding.

I reach down to pull the pin out of the trailer hitch and it releases sooner than expected, causing my left hand to slam into the side of the truck – skin torn. Now I make sure to wear gloves when doing that.

Hitting the double nickel and watching the expired warranty effect take place sure is fun. I know, I know. All my older-than-I friends will still call me a young whipper snapper and tell me the worst is yet to come. I hear ya.

Why isn’t anyone trying to reach out to me about this some extended warranty?